Dreams, Nightmares and the Swede's Office
by sdbubbles
Summary: Set shortly after the death of Frieda's father. Frieda has had enough of AAU and seeks silence in the one place nobody would disturb her, because nobody would dare go in there without his permission. Except her.


**A/N: This is set not long after Frieda's dad died, and it's something I came up with from how badly I dealt with my friend's death in a car accident last year. There were days I fell asleep at the back of the class because I found it impossible to try and sleep at night, which is basically what is happening with Frieda here.**

**Sarah x**

* * *

><p>"I really hate AAU sometimes," Frieda declared. After about five hours with vomiting patients, irritating mothers, no Sacha or Michael to help her out and an argument with a drunken relative that resulted in her having him removed by security, she had had enough. She stormed out and shouted across to Eddi, "I am taking break now!"<p>

After fighting to keep her temper all day, she sought a silent refuge, where nobody could tell her she was not ready to work yet, or make worried faces at her, or go on and on about how the death of a relative can affect a person. She thought of a place where nobody dared go for fear of the man who usually spent his day there. But she happened to know that he was going to be in theatre for the next hour at the very least. She was, after all, the one who demanded he operate on the man who needed a bowel resection. That left his office empty and so blissfully silent.

She took the lift to the floor she wanted to be on. She let AAU cross her mind one more time, along with the guilt she felt about leaving Eddi on her own down there, but reminded herself that Sacha was due back in ten minutes anyway. Eddi would be absolutely fine for ten measly minutes. Frieda looked around before quietly entering the office.

Oh, the silence. She revelled in the solitude that she was denied on the ward. She was, emotionally, mentally and physically, exhausted. The funeral had taken a lot out of her, and she wasn't sure why. She dealt with death well, normally. But then losing a patient isn't the same as losing a dad, is it? Before she knew it, she was stretched out on the sofa in the corner. She kicked off her high-tops and let her body go limp. The sofa was actually rather comfortable..._no_, she thought. _I must not sleep here. Mr. Hanssen might murder me._ But this was the most comfortable she had felt in ages. This was the first time in a while she found herself peaceful enough to sleep.

Her eyes were heavy and she knew she was going to succumb to the temptation to fall asleep here. She would deal with whatever punishment Hanssen gave her for using his office to sleep in when it came. Right now, she was just so glad for the peace and quiet. It was an easy sleep, but it was haunted with childhood memories of her father spinning her around in his arms, his laughter mingling with her childish giggles. It was not unpleasant, but it still made her hurt. It was a good pain. The kind that reminded her of all her father did for her, how hard he work so she could go to university and on to medical school. She smiled as she turned over. She remembered everything she loved about her father: his kindness, his loyalty, his strange ability to talk with her when she would talk to no-one else.

* * *

><p>Henrik Hanssen entered his office as silently as always, barely making a sound. The first thing he did was sit down at his desk and turn on his laptop. He lifted his head while the machine whirred quietly to life. Well, this was something he didn't see every day. A junior doctor had claimed his office for a rest. Frieda Petrenko, by the look of it. He shook his head and whispered to himself, "This hospital is mad." He did not wake her; he assumed that she desperately needed the rest. It was the only reason that she would seek silence and peace and solitude in the Director of Surgery's office. He merely got on with his work.<p>

He had gone half an hour without giving the young Ukrainian woman he was sharing an office with a second thought. But then he heard her. "Papa," she whispered. "Papa...I miss you. Why can't you come back?" It was a broken whisper, to a man she could no longer speak to in person. "I want you back," she cried. She was crying in her sleep now. This was bad, he realised. She was normally very much like him in that she let no emotion seep through the sarcastic barrier she held up to the world.

She turned over again, but fell off the sofa. She hit the coffee table before falling to the floor with a thud. Hanssen rushed over to her, sitting her upright while she woke up properly. They sat with their backs against the sofa. "Nothing broken," she said to him eventually. "I am fine."

"If you were fine, Dr. Petrenko, you would not have used my office to sleep in," he reminded her gently. She opened her mouth to apologise, but Hanssen held up a hand to stop her. "I'm not angry, I assure you. But I do wonder...you miss your father don't you?" Frieda's dark eyes darted to examine the carpet, rather than let Hanssen see just how badly she hurt for her father. "Dr. Petrenko...there is nothing wrong with missing your father, especially so soon after his death."

"Frieda," she corrected him, finally meeting his eyes. "My name is Frieda. I do not wish to discuss my dad while you calling me 'Dr. Petrenko.' Dr. Petrenko does not show pain. Frieda does," she explained.

"Frieda," he sighed. This was a very strange situation, involving two rather strange people who had similar, generally cynical, ideas about the world they lived in. "You love your father. Nobody expects you to let go of him. No-one expects you t feel nothing. And there is definitely not a single person who would have you hide from them so you can grieve."

"That is not why I came here," she said in a soft but rough voice. "I could not stay on AAU any longer. It drive me crazy. So I take break and come here to lie down and I must have dozed off," she revealed to him. "That was the longest I slept since he died. Every time I try and sleep, I remember him."

"That part does pass, believe me," he tried to reassure her. "I went through the very same thing when my mother died. But it does go away." He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she looked at it with a strange look. He smiled at her reaction. She, like most other people apart from Sahira, seemed to forget that he too was human, and capable of human emotion. "I do have one question, though."

"Shoot," she told him.

"Why did you choose my office? Surely an on-call room would be more comfortable," he reasoned with her.

"If I slept in the on-call room, someone would come and get me to go back to ward," she replied. "I would not be disturbed here, because nobody would dare enter Henrik Hanssen's office for fear of the giant nasty Swede taking his sweet, sweet revenge," she added with a degree of sarcasm that made Hanssen smirk. They looked at each other for a second; Frieda, for the first time in so long, burst into hysterics of laughter. Even Hanssen gave a laugh at her remark.

Once they settled again, Frieda's eyes took on that same sad look as before. That moment of hilarity did not last long, and did nothing to take away the pain she was feeling. Hanssen sighed again. He found himself putting an arm around her small shoulders, which was something way out of the ordinary for him. What was even weirder was that Frieda's head dropped to his shoulder."It's perfectly alright to look for somewhere you don't need to put on a mask. And you never need to use a mask in front of me. For some reason, everyone thinks that I think emotion is just a weakness we need to overcome. I don't think that at all."

They sat there for a while, neither one uttering a word, while Frieda thought everything over. The fact was that she was still upset about her dad. How could she not be? He did everything he could for her. But she also took something else from this: she didn't have to hide. She didn't have to pretend that there were no painful thoughts going through her head. If Hanssen was alright with her when she let it show, the rest of her co-workers surely would be as well. She worked with Sacha, for crying out loud. Of course he would get it.

"I have to get back to AAU now," she announced, breaking the silence. Hanssen nodded and helped her to her feet. She put her shoes back on, thanked him and left the office.

The phone rang and he picked it up with his usual uninviting greeting of, "Hanssen."

"Mr. Hanssen," Sacha Levy addressed him, quite clearly panicking. "Dr. Petrenko has gone missing. Nurse McKee says she took a break an hour and a half ago and hasn't come back yet. I just thought we ought to tell you."

"Frieda Petrenko is on her way back to AAU," he answered as he sat back down. He could almost see the surprise on Sacha's face at hearing that Hanssen knew of Frieda's whereabouts.

"Is she OK?" he asked, worry seeping into his voice. He assumed that she was in trouble with Hanssen, which would almost always result in unpleasantness.

"She is perfectly fine," Henrik calmed Sacha down. "Well, actually, between you and I, she isn't coping with her father's death nearly as well as she would like everyone to believe. Would you keep an eye on her for me?" he asked.

"Oh," Sacha said with surprise evident in his tone. How odd, to have Henrik Hanssen asking to watch out for a doctor who was going through a rough time. "Sure, I'll make sure she's OK. Is that all?"

"That is everything, thank you," Hanssen answered. He hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair. Someone, at least, was watching over Frieda Petrenko today.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope it was alright!<strong>

**Please leave a review and tell me what you think of it!**

**Sarah x**


End file.
